Poppy will soon be a sweet pea

Poppy is already growing up so big and strong. This week he is starting to sprout eyes, ears, nose, cheeks, and chin. His hands and feet may also start wiggling this week (they are still webbed). His heart should also be beating and circulating blood.

As for me, I'm feeling super pregnant already, which is ridiculous since it's so early. I have nausea pretty much every morning. I've also been exhausted and in needs of naps each day. Last night I had to pee three times, which is crazy. I can't believe I had that much in me.

I had my first pregnancy-hormone breakdown on Wednesday as well. DH yelled at me because I've been complaining a lot about the accident he had last fall that is still causing problems with his car. I started balling in the car and had to pull over to a rest area to cry for 10 minutes before getting myself together. DH was with me and he was pretty horrified by my hormones. When I finally stopped crying, I saw how horrible I looked, which made me start crying again. Ah,
hormones.

I am also taking a mindfulness-based stress reduction class with my Mom. It's been really good so far and I am learning to meditate, which isn't usually my still. I like it though. The teacher was telling a story about a dog being put down (the point was about how dogs live life to the fullest, I guess). Well, I can't handle those kinds of stories, even on a good day. I started crying and had to run upstairs to the bathroom to ball my eyes out. Ugh. I feel like such a baby yesterday with all of my hormones and pregnancy symptoms. I feel so lucky for being pregnant and I can't wait for Poppy, but I wish I was better at being pregnant. Hopefully my body will straighten itself out soon so I can stop being such a wreck.

Woo hoo for Poppy!

I went for my second round of blood work today and the results were great! My blood level was 576.1--which is awesome! It has been about 5 days since I got my original blood work (results were 47.1). Since blood levels double every 48-72 hours, I was just hoping for levels in the hundreds. I'm so thrilled!

I'm also really excited to tell our families about the pregnancy. We invited my Mom to come over for dinner tomorrow night. I bought her a baby picture frame and DH wrote "Save the Date: December 13, 2009. I really can't wait to tell her. It's been hard to see her all week without spilling.

We're planning to tell DH's parents on Saturday. We bought a Grateful Dead onesie to break the news to them since they are huge fans. I really can't wait to tell them this!

Pregnancy mantra

This is a pregnancy mantra that I found on The Bump:

* Today I am pregnant and I love my baby.
* I am pregnant until someone tells me otherwise.
* My past does not dictate my future. A previous m/c does not mean I will have another m/c.--Just because something sad is happening to another poster, does not mean it will happen to you. We all know m/c and complications are not contagious!
* Hope does not make bad things happen You cannot ‘jinx’ your pregnancy by creating a ticker, getting excited, or telling someone. Live in the positive!
* And this is the hardest one: There is nothing I can do to prevent a m/c from happening. Worrying yourself sick doesn't prevent a m/c. And if (gods forbid) it were to happen again, I know I will survive.

Loving Baby Poppy Seed

I am 4 weeks pregnant today. This week, the baby is the size of a poppy seed. The baby is being fed by the yolk sack, until the placenta forms in the next few weeks. How exciting!

DH and I went out for a nice dinner Friday night to celebrate the baby. He has taken to calling the baby "Poppy." I think it's very cute when he calls the baby that.

We've also planned how we're going to tell our families about the baby. We're going to have my Mom over for dinner Thursday. I bought a baby-style picture frame at Kohl's on Friday. We're going to put "Save the Date: December 13, 2009" in the picture frame. We also ordered a Grateful Dead onesie to tell DH's parents. It's really cute. It has one of the Grateful Dead bears sitting on a half-moon. Adorable! They are big Grateful Dead fans, so this should be great. We are going to wait until after our 10-week appointment to tell the rest of our family. We're really looking forward to telling our parents though. It's cute to see DH so excited about that.

I do find myself being constantly nervous that something is going to go wrong though. I check the toilet paper every time I use the bathroom to check for blood. Luckily, all has been good so far. I'm hoping that I will feel better after I talk to the doctor tomorrow about my bloodwork. I'm still nervous that my HcG levels were pretty low. I think they were pretty normal for this early in my pregnancy. I wonder if they're going to send me for follow-up bloodwork, or if they are just going to say everything is fine. I'm also not thrilled that my first appointment isn't until 10 weeks on May 12. I've seen other people on The Bump who get to see their doctors and hear the heartbeat way before then. I just hope my doctor isn't too layed back--because I'm not layed back. Oh well, maybe it will be good overall.

I guess I really do need to calm down about my nerves. There really is nothing I can do if I'm going to miscarry or have a chemical pregnancy. I'm just so scared about that. Either way, today I am pregnant, and I love my baby. I really want this baby to grow up big and strong. I have such dreams for the baby and I can't wait to get to know him or her.

First round of betas

I went to get my blood test this morning to confirm my pregnancy. I was able to talk the lab tech into giving me my results over the phone because my doctor's office is closed on Fridays.

I'm a little nervous about my results. They are 47, which is a little low according to the tech. I guess they usually like to see 50+ for pregnancy. However, it is probably okay given that I am so early in my pregnancy. I am only 3 weeks and 5 days at this point, which is ridiculously early.

On the American Pregnancy Association site, the range for three weeks is from 5-50, so I am at the high range of that. I'm just going to keep my fingers crossed that everything is okay. They are probably going to send me for more blood work early next week. If the number doubles, then I'll know that everything is going well at this point. For now, I'm going to keep my fingers crossed.

I am pregnant!!!

I am pregnant! I am still in shock really. Wednesday morning, I got what I thought was an evaporation line. I was still hopeful, but when I got to work and looked it up, it sounded like the textbook evaporation line. On the way home, I went to the $ Tree and bought 10 tests (hey, they're only $1 each!).

The test was still barely visible at that point. I had another (more expensive) test under the sink that I was saving (maybe for a special occasion?). I decided to try that one as well--and it showed a line. I found DH and showed him. It was so light though. I know "a line is a line," but I wasn't super confident. I decided to drive to CVS to get a digital test. I ended up buying a three-pack of digitals and one other type of test. When I got home, the digital test said "not pregnant," but the other test had a really faint line. At that point, I thought I probably was pregnant, but I was trying not to get my hopes up too much. My plan was to wait until Thursday morning and test with FMU (first morning urine).

On Thursday morning, I woke up an hour before normal and laid in bed. When my alarm went off, I jumped up to pee in a cup. I used the digital, the $ tree, and the other test that I bought. The digital showed up "pregnant" pretty quickly. The other test did too. The $ tree test was really only a shadow, but it showed up eventually.

I woke DH up to help me read the tests. He walked over bleary eyed, expecting to see really faint lines. I had him look at the digital first. He just stared at it for a second, not really believing it at first. Then we hugged for about 10 minutes. At one point, he whispered in my ear to say "see, my plan worked" (see previous month's post about DH's TTC plan). I just can't believe this is happening. I'm sooo happy!