Nursery pictures

Ramblings and baby panic

I had a major baby panic attack today. DH and I were discussing the "game plan" at lunch for how we were going to handle sleep deprivation, crying babies, etc. in the first few weeks after birth. (As if you can really plan for those things, but I indulged DH. ;)

Talking about this just made me so scared--and then guilty for being scared. Some days I just can't wait to get Andy here in my arms--but today wasn't one of them! Ugh, how am I going to handle being in charge of a little infant?? He won't even be able to hold his head up--what if I forget to hold it?

Now that my due date is getting closer, I'm slightly in panic mode. I also feel guilty for feeling so afraid of having a baby. I mean, if I was a going to be a good mother, shouldn't I just be excited about this? Instead, I'm terrified that I won't be able to take care of this sweet, little baby who will depend on me and DH for its complete survival. What if I mess up this perfect angel?

DH finally talked me off the ledge. I guess all we can do is take it one day, one hour, and one minute at a time. I just love Andrew so much already and I hope we can do a good job raising him and keeping him safe.

How far along? 29 weeks!

Total weight gain/loss: I think I'm about two pounds up at this point. I gained back the weight that I lost in 1st Tri.
Maternity clothes? I'm almost exclusively in maternity clothes. Most days I just wear sweatpants though, since I'm working at home.
Stretch marks? I noticed the first new stretchmarks the other day, at the bottom of my belly.

Best moment this week: Probably seeing the baby again at my ultrasound on Thursday. I get a lot of ultrasounds, but it's always so good to see him!

Movement: Andy moves almost constantly. He has started giving me some strong cervix kicks lately that take my breath away.
Food cravings: I've been wanting a lot of foods that I'm not usually interested in. This week I really wanted a BLT, Taco Bell, and buffalo wings--all things that I don't usually like.
Gender: Boy.
Labor Signs: None

Belly Button in or out? In, but it is stretched out a lot.
What I miss: Caffeine, Advil.

What I am looking forward to: My baby shower next Sunday!

Milestones: I've officially been in 3rd Tri for about a week now. Woo hoo!

Thoughts on turning 30

Today I am 30 years old--an age that always seemed soooo old to me growing up. I'm still coming to terms with this number, though it doesn't sound quote so old any more. Now that I'm turning 30, I'm really excited about this next decade. Being 26 weeks pregnant makes this a really interesting transition for me. I feel like the 30s will be my "Mommy Years."

In my 20s, I graduated from college, got married, built my career, adopted our Westie Oscar, bought a condo, then sold that condo and bought a brand new house with DH. Sounds pretty productive, no? It's hard to think now of all of the milestones I'll have to look back on throughout my 30s. I mean--I know the baby is coming, and we'll probably even have another baby in a few years. However, I don't know what to really expect for "milestones." Are my milestones really the baby's milestones going forward? Will I be listing items like Andy getting his first tooth, Andy starting preschool and elementary school, or Andy getting his first sports trophy? Will the milestones in my 30s really be MY milestones or his??

Are the 30s going to be the decade when I become more selfless? When things are no longer about me? Of course, that isn't such a bad thing in a lot of ways. I just wonder how it's going to play out and where I'll be 10 years from now. How will this baby change me and my goals? How will it affect my relationship with DH?

So many things are up in the air right now. I feel both excited and anxious to embark on this new section of my life. I'm also happy to have such great people around me to share this next decade with.

Today is V-Day!

Today the baby is 24 weeks old. I feel like this is a pretty big milestone since this is his "Viability Day." At this point, the baby may have a chance of surviving on his own. Granted, it's not a great chance and there would still be lots of problems involved if he was born now. I certainly wouldn't want that. However, it's nice to know that Andrew has a chance at life now, no matter how small.

Andrew has been very active this week, which is so neat to feel. Friday night, he was kicking for almost four hours, which is the longest stretch that I've ever felt him kick. DH finally got to feel him kick Friday night too, which we've both been waiting for. DH said the kicks were still pretty light though. It's funny, because the kicks feel so strong to me. Last night, I could have sworn that Andrew practically popped my belly button out of my stomach.

I've also been feeling great this week, which is a nice change. Morning sickness seems to have finally left. I'm also over the flu that I had a couple of weeks ago. The only negative at the moment is my emotions. I've been crying off and on all day for pretty much no reason. I've also been pretty clingy with DH this weekend, which I have and am sort of embarrassed about. Hopefully I'll be able to get over that soon.

On another note, I finally finished my baby registry last week. That was quite an ordeal and I'm glad to be done. There are just so many decisions to be made and I'm still second-guessing the items I registered for, despite all of the research I did before registering. My Mom sent out the invitations this week too and people have started getting them. My shower is on 10/4 and I'm really excited for it!

How far along? 24 weeks!

Total weight gain/loss: I was still down about three pounds at my last appointment. I feel like I've gained at least five pounds or so at this point, but I guess we'll see at my appointment Wednesday.
Maternity clothes? I'm wearing maternity clothes most of the time, though I still fit in a few regular clothes.
Stretch marks? Nothing new.

Best moment this week: DH feeling the baby kick on Friday!!

Movement: Lots of movement--he's getting really strong.
Food cravings: I've been really into the Friendly's peanut butter cup ice cream cups this week.
Gender: Boy.
Labor Signs: None

Belly Button in or out? In
What I miss: Frozen strawberry margaritas.

What I am looking forward to: Getting the nursery furniture set up. DH has the crib put together and about half of the bureau done.
Weekly Wisdom: I don't know that I have any new wisdom, other than going to bed when you get tired--even if it's absurdly early.

Milestones: V-day!

Appointment update

I just had another Level II ultrasound today as a follow-up to the "big ultrasound" because they couldn't get all the images last time. I took my Mom with me to this ultrasound since DH doesn't have a lot of vacation time. It was so cute watching her grin the whole time while watching the ultrasound!

Little Andrew is doing really well. Unfortunately, they still haven't gotten to check the heart, but the doctor said that's pretty common. He is super active and around 1.3 pounds (47th percentile). I've been really nervous about his size because my blood pressure is pretty high (though it's stayed just low enough to let me avoid meds) and I'm at high risk for GD (I passed the 3-hour at 20 weeks, though I need to take it again around 26 weeks). Between those two things, I just get nervous about where he is measuring.

I met with my high-risk OB after the ultrasound and she said she's really happy with where I am right now. My blood pressure is staying in check and I've avoided GD so far. I'm also still down a few pounds, which is where she wanted me to be at this point since I'm overweight.

They also double-checked that he is still a boy, which is a relief because we just painted the nursery last weekend!

Halfway there!

I have officially hit the halfway point of my pregnancy--I'm 20 weeks today! Crazy! Now if only I could start to show a little bit--pretty please? I still have no (new) belly. I think my cute baby bump is hiding under a few layers of fat. Oh well.

It would be nice to look pregnant, but I'm psyched that the baby is doing so well. He's been kicking me for a few weeks now and I've already felt him a couple of times today. It's such a cool feeling.

How far along? 20 weeks!

Total weight gain/loss: I gained back two pounds at my last appointment, but I'm still down three pounds.
Maternity clothes? I wear maternity clothes a little more than half the time. I still have a pair of larger jeans that fits. I really love my maternity capri pants though.
Stretch marks? Nothing new.

Best moment this week: Picking up the crib, dresser, and bedding.

Movement: Yes, and pretty often. Our little boy is very active!
Food cravings: I've wanted ice cream a lot this week. I'm not sure it was really a craving though.
Gender: Little Andrew Stafford is all boy!
Labor Signs: None

Belly Button in or out? In
What I miss: Caffeinated Pepsi and frozen strawberry margaritas.

What I am looking forward to: Getting the nursery painted and the nursery furniture set up.
Weekly Wisdom: Go to bed when you start to get tired, even if it's early.

Milestones: Halfway point!

We ordered the bedding

We ordered the bedding for our little guy--and we named him! Pretty exciting, huh? His name is Andrew Stafford. We just liked the name "Andrew" and "Stafford" is after DH's grandfather who passed away. I love the name. I actually started calling him it in my head during the ultrasound.

All along, I've wanted a nautical theme if we had a boy. I found a set for a great price at Walmart of all places. Of course, I never planned to have all of the baby's furniture and now bedding and accessorize come from Walmart, but the prices and reviews were just too good to pass up. Here are some pics of the bedding we picked out.