Ramblings and baby panic

I had a major baby panic attack today. DH and I were discussing the "game plan" at lunch for how we were going to handle sleep deprivation, crying babies, etc. in the first few weeks after birth. (As if you can really plan for those things, but I indulged DH. ;)

Talking about this just made me so scared--and then guilty for being scared. Some days I just can't wait to get Andy here in my arms--but today wasn't one of them! Ugh, how am I going to handle being in charge of a little infant?? He won't even be able to hold his head up--what if I forget to hold it?

Now that my due date is getting closer, I'm slightly in panic mode. I also feel guilty for feeling so afraid of having a baby. I mean, if I was a going to be a good mother, shouldn't I just be excited about this? Instead, I'm terrified that I won't be able to take care of this sweet, little baby who will depend on me and DH for its complete survival. What if I mess up this perfect angel?

DH finally talked me off the ledge. I guess all we can do is take it one day, one hour, and one minute at a time. I just love Andrew so much already and I hope we can do a good job raising him and keeping him safe.

How far along? 29 weeks!

Total weight gain/loss: I think I'm about two pounds up at this point. I gained back the weight that I lost in 1st Tri.
Maternity clothes? I'm almost exclusively in maternity clothes. Most days I just wear sweatpants though, since I'm working at home.
Stretch marks? I noticed the first new stretchmarks the other day, at the bottom of my belly.

Best moment this week: Probably seeing the baby again at my ultrasound on Thursday. I get a lot of ultrasounds, but it's always so good to see him!

Movement: Andy moves almost constantly. He has started giving me some strong cervix kicks lately that take my breath away.
Food cravings: I've been wanting a lot of foods that I'm not usually interested in. This week I really wanted a BLT, Taco Bell, and buffalo wings--all things that I don't usually like.
Gender: Boy.
Labor Signs: None

Belly Button in or out? In, but it is stretched out a lot.
What I miss: Caffeine, Advil.

What I am looking forward to: My baby shower next Sunday!

Milestones: I've officially been in 3rd Tri for about a week now. Woo hoo!