Coming soon!

I will have a baby within the next two weeks. For real. Crazy, huh?

My induction is set for December 8 right now. I'll go in at night on December 7 to get Cervidil, then I'll be induced with Pitocin in the morning. I'm really hoping for a bit of progress before then though. Right now, my cervix is sealed up tight like a fortress and the baby is still floating around and hasn't engaged.

There's a decent chance I may even be induced sooner. My blood pressure has been really high (it was 170/110 the other day). My high-risk OB freaked out about that and the fact that there is enough protein in my urine to have me in the pre-eclampsia range now. She had me do an amnio (ouch!) yesterday to check the baby's lungs. If they were ready, I would have had a c-section this morning. The baby still needs some more time though. I guess mature lungs would be a 60, but he was only a 26.

I'm a little relieved, yet disappointed not to have a baby today. I was scared yesterday and didn't feel ready when they told me the new plan. Everything seemed to be moving too fast. But in the hours that I waited for the test results, I had time to get myself used to the idea of having a baby today, even if it had to be via the dreaded c-section. I am looking forward to meeting my son. I'm also relieved that we have a little more time to get prepared to meet him. We can finish the stuff we need to do around the house this weekend. I also spent most of the day today finishing up work projects so I can be prepared in case they decide to induce me next week.

Now that we have some more time to get ready for Andrew, I just want him here now. I feel a little bad for not being ready to meet him yesterday. I feel more ready today and a little sad that I need to keep waiting. I'm also glad that we know he's not ready, so we can give him some more time to get his lungs to mature. I'm on pretty strict bedrest at this point, so my job is just to relax, keep my BP in check, and wait for Andrew.

How far along? 37 weeks, 3 days

Total weight gain/loss: I am up 6 lbs. from April.
Maternity clothes? Yes, I am pretty much in maternity clothes. I have a few large sweatpants and sweatshirts that fit me though.
Stretch marks? Oh yeah, a lot of them.

Best moment this week: I guess the best thing has been my continued connection to Andrew. I feel really close to him lately and I'm trying to treasure that because I know he's going to be born soon and I'll have to share him with everyone else. For now, he's all mine.

Movement: Lots of movement. DH and I were watching my belly jiggle a few hours ago. He is a very active baby.
Food cravings: Nothing too major right now. I'm looking forward to Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow though!
Gender: Boy.
Labor Signs: I've had a few contractions while being monitored during the NSTs. My cervix is still tightly closed though and Andy is floating and not engaged.

Belly Button in or out? In, but it is stretched out a lot.
What I miss: Caffeine, strawberry margaritas.

What I am looking forward to: Meeting Andrew. :)

Milestones: I'm now full term and getting really close to meeting my little guy!

Less than a month to go!

I am 35w 1d today! Right now, it feels like this pregnancy flew by. My OB is planning to induce me on either 12/3, 12/4, or 12/7, so I have less than a month left. Crazy! I really can't believe that I'm going to be responsible for a little baby in less than a month.

One thing that is helping me get ready is how uncomfortable I feel these days. I feel so much pressure on my pelvis and it is pretty painful sometimes. I think that is really helping me get ready for having an "outside baby" since I'm getting sick of being pregnant. It's still just so surreal though.

Since I've been so nervous about having the baby lately, DH encouraged me to make a list of the things I'm looking forward to. Here's the list that I've come up with so far:

- Holding him, smelling him, cuddling him
- His first smile and first laugh
- Introducing him to our dog, Oscar (I'm so excited about this!)
- Going on family outings to the park and beach
- Taking him to Story Land and Santa's Village in the mountains
- Seeing who he looks like
- Finding out his personality
- Watching Andrew and Oscar become best friends
- Watching him sleep and have peaceful moments
- Finding out what kind of Mom I'll be

Those are just a few things that I can think of at the moment. Feel free to add any more things that I have to look forward to in the comments section! :)

Nursery pictures

Ramblings and baby panic

I had a major baby panic attack today. DH and I were discussing the "game plan" at lunch for how we were going to handle sleep deprivation, crying babies, etc. in the first few weeks after birth. (As if you can really plan for those things, but I indulged DH. ;)

Talking about this just made me so scared--and then guilty for being scared. Some days I just can't wait to get Andy here in my arms--but today wasn't one of them! Ugh, how am I going to handle being in charge of a little infant?? He won't even be able to hold his head up--what if I forget to hold it?

Now that my due date is getting closer, I'm slightly in panic mode. I also feel guilty for feeling so afraid of having a baby. I mean, if I was a going to be a good mother, shouldn't I just be excited about this? Instead, I'm terrified that I won't be able to take care of this sweet, little baby who will depend on me and DH for its complete survival. What if I mess up this perfect angel?

DH finally talked me off the ledge. I guess all we can do is take it one day, one hour, and one minute at a time. I just love Andrew so much already and I hope we can do a good job raising him and keeping him safe.

How far along? 29 weeks!

Total weight gain/loss: I think I'm about two pounds up at this point. I gained back the weight that I lost in 1st Tri.
Maternity clothes? I'm almost exclusively in maternity clothes. Most days I just wear sweatpants though, since I'm working at home.
Stretch marks? I noticed the first new stretchmarks the other day, at the bottom of my belly.

Best moment this week: Probably seeing the baby again at my ultrasound on Thursday. I get a lot of ultrasounds, but it's always so good to see him!

Movement: Andy moves almost constantly. He has started giving me some strong cervix kicks lately that take my breath away.
Food cravings: I've been wanting a lot of foods that I'm not usually interested in. This week I really wanted a BLT, Taco Bell, and buffalo wings--all things that I don't usually like.
Gender: Boy.
Labor Signs: None

Belly Button in or out? In, but it is stretched out a lot.
What I miss: Caffeine, Advil.

What I am looking forward to: My baby shower next Sunday!

Milestones: I've officially been in 3rd Tri for about a week now. Woo hoo!

Thoughts on turning 30

Today I am 30 years old--an age that always seemed soooo old to me growing up. I'm still coming to terms with this number, though it doesn't sound quote so old any more. Now that I'm turning 30, I'm really excited about this next decade. Being 26 weeks pregnant makes this a really interesting transition for me. I feel like the 30s will be my "Mommy Years."

In my 20s, I graduated from college, got married, built my career, adopted our Westie Oscar, bought a condo, then sold that condo and bought a brand new house with DH. Sounds pretty productive, no? It's hard to think now of all of the milestones I'll have to look back on throughout my 30s. I mean--I know the baby is coming, and we'll probably even have another baby in a few years. However, I don't know what to really expect for "milestones." Are my milestones really the baby's milestones going forward? Will I be listing items like Andy getting his first tooth, Andy starting preschool and elementary school, or Andy getting his first sports trophy? Will the milestones in my 30s really be MY milestones or his??

Are the 30s going to be the decade when I become more selfless? When things are no longer about me? Of course, that isn't such a bad thing in a lot of ways. I just wonder how it's going to play out and where I'll be 10 years from now. How will this baby change me and my goals? How will it affect my relationship with DH?

So many things are up in the air right now. I feel both excited and anxious to embark on this new section of my life. I'm also happy to have such great people around me to share this next decade with.

Today is V-Day!

Today the baby is 24 weeks old. I feel like this is a pretty big milestone since this is his "Viability Day." At this point, the baby may have a chance of surviving on his own. Granted, it's not a great chance and there would still be lots of problems involved if he was born now. I certainly wouldn't want that. However, it's nice to know that Andrew has a chance at life now, no matter how small.

Andrew has been very active this week, which is so neat to feel. Friday night, he was kicking for almost four hours, which is the longest stretch that I've ever felt him kick. DH finally got to feel him kick Friday night too, which we've both been waiting for. DH said the kicks were still pretty light though. It's funny, because the kicks feel so strong to me. Last night, I could have sworn that Andrew practically popped my belly button out of my stomach.

I've also been feeling great this week, which is a nice change. Morning sickness seems to have finally left. I'm also over the flu that I had a couple of weeks ago. The only negative at the moment is my emotions. I've been crying off and on all day for pretty much no reason. I've also been pretty clingy with DH this weekend, which I have and am sort of embarrassed about. Hopefully I'll be able to get over that soon.

On another note, I finally finished my baby registry last week. That was quite an ordeal and I'm glad to be done. There are just so many decisions to be made and I'm still second-guessing the items I registered for, despite all of the research I did before registering. My Mom sent out the invitations this week too and people have started getting them. My shower is on 10/4 and I'm really excited for it!

How far along? 24 weeks!

Total weight gain/loss: I was still down about three pounds at my last appointment. I feel like I've gained at least five pounds or so at this point, but I guess we'll see at my appointment Wednesday.
Maternity clothes? I'm wearing maternity clothes most of the time, though I still fit in a few regular clothes.
Stretch marks? Nothing new.

Best moment this week: DH feeling the baby kick on Friday!!

Movement: Lots of movement--he's getting really strong.
Food cravings: I've been really into the Friendly's peanut butter cup ice cream cups this week.
Gender: Boy.
Labor Signs: None

Belly Button in or out? In
What I miss: Frozen strawberry margaritas.

What I am looking forward to: Getting the nursery furniture set up. DH has the crib put together and about half of the bureau done.
Weekly Wisdom: I don't know that I have any new wisdom, other than going to bed when you get tired--even if it's absurdly early.

Milestones: V-day!

Appointment update

I just had another Level II ultrasound today as a follow-up to the "big ultrasound" because they couldn't get all the images last time. I took my Mom with me to this ultrasound since DH doesn't have a lot of vacation time. It was so cute watching her grin the whole time while watching the ultrasound!

Little Andrew is doing really well. Unfortunately, they still haven't gotten to check the heart, but the doctor said that's pretty common. He is super active and around 1.3 pounds (47th percentile). I've been really nervous about his size because my blood pressure is pretty high (though it's stayed just low enough to let me avoid meds) and I'm at high risk for GD (I passed the 3-hour at 20 weeks, though I need to take it again around 26 weeks). Between those two things, I just get nervous about where he is measuring.

I met with my high-risk OB after the ultrasound and she said she's really happy with where I am right now. My blood pressure is staying in check and I've avoided GD so far. I'm also still down a few pounds, which is where she wanted me to be at this point since I'm overweight.

They also double-checked that he is still a boy, which is a relief because we just painted the nursery last weekend!